High School Romances

So, there's a girl that I often talk to after lectures. Last semester, our Pro Sem proff put us together in the same group for discussions, because our subject areas are very similar. And that's how we met.

And with great determination, I decided that that will be as far as it will go. She is quite pretty (I'm shallow), but I figured I was far too busy with my own timetable to pursue a relationship. With my ever struggling relationship with God, church, school, 2 jobs (at the time), tutoring, and most importantly, the band, there was just no time for it.

We're not in any classes together this semester, but I see her sometimes at the door, and we'll get to talking, on friendly topics, like lectures, our schools, students, and stay at home parents. Some of my friends from Field, who are also in her Curriculum class, have recently noticed this, and have been egging me on to ask her out. Common' Jonny! He who hesitates... they say. I won't finish the sentence haha. If you know it, feel free to complete it in the comments.

But yeah, no. I don't know. I have my fears. Not of rejection, and not of being hurt, but of hurting others. And of dissapointing others. These girls at work tell me: Jonny, you're an all around nice guy! And I think to myself, dang, I have this effect on women a lot. Too bad though, because it's the truth. I am a nice guy, but that's really all I am. Just a nice guy. And they seem to be pretty dissapointed when there's nothing more than that HAHAHA!

Also, there's no time. Plain and simple.

But there are a lot of qualities among her that I find attractive.

1. She's pretty (which I've mentioned)
   
2. She's very confident in herself; She doesn't seem to be the type who depends on others to boost her self-esteem.
   
3. She's totally smart; I mean... Dang! We were talking about some of the math courses we've taken, and I'm very impressed with her understanding of the sciences. But she admits she has difficulty writing papers (being a Science major and all... I love General Studies).
   
4. She's experienced poverty.
5. She IS Christian! (But I don't know how much she loves God). Even still, she's from out of town and has not only made efforts to find a church here, but to become involved with leading Bible Studies. (That still doesn't tell me the extent of her love for God though... but... still!)

Ah... But honestly, I'm ok with the way things are. I don't think I'm ready, and I really don't have this sense of urgency to get married and make babies that I once had. Plus, she fails the requirement of being at least twice my age.