Joy & Sadness...

I never thought such joy could be so painful. I don't want to share too much, as I don't think this is appropriate for blogging, but... at the same time, I have to say something.

Thank you all (who know what I'm talking about) for your prayers. They were indeed answered, and everything went so well...

It was so nice, to be in that one's company again, and on peaceful terms, talking sincerely with each other, I honestly did not want the moment to end. All the while, I kept praying selfishly, for just a few more minutes... Just one more minute God, I just... want to be here, for just one more minute.

Now, if I can ask you guys to pray for me once again, this is no longer a matter of bitterness or envy for me. It's simply a matter of letting go. And I must learn to let go, for attachment leads to fear of loss, which leads to fear and jealousy. Such paths... lead to the Dark Side... Right?

Hmm... finding Christ in Star Wars Episode III; I should write a book. Heh heh, In other words, I've got to live my life, not for anyone, not even for myself, but all my motives, all my actions, must be God alone. Which I have been trying (and doing at some moments), but now it seems like I'm starting all over again.

Honestly, I hate this, and I don't want to let go.