"I despise people like that."
That's what one of my coworkers said as we were talking about someone who once worked in a field similar to ours, but is now serving time for molesting his daughter.
I knew this man before any suspicion of such allegations were charged, and though I didn't know him well, our relationship was still quite personable. In fact, we'd often talk about Christ, where he would encourage me to be bold and to speak out about my faith.
So, I was confused when my coworker made his comment. In my mind, I thought to myself, why don't I see this man with the same level of disgust as my friend? I admit, I know of two friends who have had such experiences, and if I was in a position where I could torture and castrate the people who inflicted this injustice to them, I would without a second thought.
And yet, when I look upon this man, an actual rapist; I don't feel the same way. Where's my sympathy coming from? Is it because I knew him? Is it because he's a Christian? Of all things, I would've expected myself to have feelings of betrayal, and mistrust towards him. Or did I empathize with him because of our own twisted human nature, I could relate to his lack of control.
At the end of the day, I concluded, I don't think I'm too far off from where he is.
After a moment's pause of silence between us, I spoke up. "You know, I've manipulated and exploited people too."
"Yeah, but your own F***ing daughter?"
Hmm, the irony of using the F word. Maybe now's not the greatest time to point that out.
"Should that make a difference?"
But he just stared at me as if I was mentally challenged, and at the time, I was. The conversation was clearly over.
PS. I love my job.
I knew this man before any suspicion of such allegations were charged, and though I didn't know him well, our relationship was still quite personable. In fact, we'd often talk about Christ, where he would encourage me to be bold and to speak out about my faith.
So, I was confused when my coworker made his comment. In my mind, I thought to myself, why don't I see this man with the same level of disgust as my friend? I admit, I know of two friends who have had such experiences, and if I was in a position where I could torture and castrate the people who inflicted this injustice to them, I would without a second thought.
And yet, when I look upon this man, an actual rapist; I don't feel the same way. Where's my sympathy coming from? Is it because I knew him? Is it because he's a Christian? Of all things, I would've expected myself to have feelings of betrayal, and mistrust towards him. Or did I empathize with him because of our own twisted human nature, I could relate to his lack of control.
At the end of the day, I concluded, I don't think I'm too far off from where he is.
After a moment's pause of silence between us, I spoke up. "You know, I've manipulated and exploited people too."
"Yeah, but your own F***ing daughter?"
Hmm, the irony of using the F word. Maybe now's not the greatest time to point that out.
"Should that make a difference?"
But he just stared at me as if I was mentally challenged, and at the time, I was. The conversation was clearly over.
PS. I love my job.
posted by Jonny at 3:58 p.m.
9 Comments:
The problem is, I am judgemental. But only towards the rapists I don't know; you know?
Hmmm...if I were the judge, I'd say this guy was as bad as GW Bush...WAHAHAH....well, not that I think GW is as bas as you make him out to be but...hmmmm this is honestly where I say my serious comment (and not my joking one), and say I'm not the judge but God is so I'll let him take care of that. I've got enough sin in my life to worry about so let God worry about everyone else's!!! :P
Bush is a terrible man, and a bigot. Anyone who thinks otherwise is mentally impotent!!
Get some brain viagra!
Speaking of Judging people.....haha....:P
Hmmm...I know being judgmental is a Godly trait but I actaully don't know if we as humans get that because it's from God....
However, there is a role for earthly authorities.....they can serve to protect society but it still wouldn't give the right for some earthly authority figure to think he was better than that person....that's why I'm not sure if us being judgmental is from God....
I still agree though, it is hard to be judgemental but I think when we start to become self-righteous, we have to remember to stop minimalizing our own sins and stop magnifying other people's sins....I always just look in the mirror when I start to detect signs of that in myself....haha...:P
Oh is that why? I always thought you just liked to spend your free time admiring your own reflection.
Dang, with a face like mine, how could I not admire myself? Don't be jelous and don't be hating.....:) That's all you people do, is hate us beautiful ones.....you and the rest of the "normies"....:P
I still haven't made up my mind about this post. If I'm honest, part of me despises rapists and wants to believe they are awful people with no good inside. THe rational side of me knows that most people are not all horrible, and are in need of salvation like the rest of us. Bringing what I feel and what I know is hard, and that is why forgiveness can only come with God's abundant grace and mercy. Some days, I try to love the men that psychology and counselling have taught me to learn to hate. Ironically, for the longest time, I never viewed 'them' as abusers, and still saw them as friends or teacher. It took so long to learn to target my pain toward the "proper" (according to the psych guys) target (ie. them, not me) and now I am learning that maybe not hating them maybe wasnt so bad. IF I'm honest, I don't think I really hate THEM. I just hate what they did to me, and how much it has changed my view of people and the world.
Still, all this seems so "un-Christian" for me to say. But I'd be lying if I said that I have completed forgiven them and wish that God would rain blessings on them as He has rained them down on me. Part of me still sometimes wishes that justice would come in this life... or that God would zap them down with lightening... but I guess that the easy way out never develops character, right?
Totally insightful post Clarissa. I'd have to agree that sometimes, the cliche of "What would Jesus do?" is so black and white, it can't relate to this world.
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