Flirt to Convert!
For all you Christian readers out there, would you consider seeing a non-Christian?
This sucks.
This sucks.
posted by Jonny at 3:44 a.m.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
posted by Jonny at 3:44 a.m.
15 Comments:
I'm going to be the heretic about this. Hopefully I don't burn on my way home.
Yes I would.
I would not Flirt to Convert though.
Does it really matter if you genuinly care for somebody and they care for you if one isn't Christian or not?
As long as you don't sacrifice your values and beliefs. If they respect what you value and believe, I think it'll be ok.
Of course you won't know any of this until much much later.
But again, why not give something a chance just because of a label of "being Christian".
Dude,
I say if she's HOT and FINE, go for it... haha
But yeah one thing my cousins said to me while we were grocery shopping for dinner is that never shop when you're hungry, cause everything looks good and you'll spend too much money.
Also check out:
Ephesians 5:23-25
Its about the role of a man.
whoops forgot to include
the "spending too money" is only a sympton. Its like ummm..picking a bad shopping cart, you know the ones that swevle and the wheels get stuck? It may not bother you at first, but as you start picking items and moving forward it causes only trouble. It ruins the whole shopping (dating) experience.
Man, I think i've heard of this before from somewhere... but yeah man,
that my 2 cents.
Good luck
Jon,
theres no written rule in the Bible about it. Like anthony said, if it doesn't your values and stuff, theres no real danger. But ofcourse that is an "if". That you gotta figure it out for yourself. I mean when you're head over heels, you'd pretty much do anything for her.
And sam has a good anology. Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry! IMO, If you're a guy who's had some kinda crush or infactuation with various girls in the last little while, then chances are you're in love with being in love. And thats different from being in love with someone.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
Everyone HOPES that they might be able to influence the nonbeliever they are seeing to accept Christ. But really, if you are looking for someone you can share every aspect of your life with then why even start with someone who does not share that common spiritual bond. More often than not, the end is more difficult than not starting.
Who's to say you can't make a bigger influence on the nonbeliever by not compromising your values yet continuing to witness and be friends with her? It's admirable when a guy demonstrates self-restraint in order to uphold values he believes in...in fact THAT would stir curiosity even more. Like "What is it about his God that he would give up everything for?"
I really like what Andi said. I think it's admirable when a guy knows what he believes and wont compromise what's (hopefully) most important to him. That would interest me more than someone who wasnt true to himself and his beliefs.
I always say that if you find yourself struggling with justifying your actions or thoughts, then it's probably not right.
I know that I risk sounding hypocritical having dated non-Christians before, but honestly, I probably wouldnt do it again unless they are genuinely seeking God and seeking answers and after I've prayed a lot about it. But ideally, i'd wait until the conversion anyways. THe reason I say this is because yes, it is pretty easy in the beginning, but when the relationship deepens, it's hard to relate to someone spiritually if you're not on the same page. If God truly is the most important part of my life, why wouldnt I want to share that with my boyfriend/husband? I remember looking around this one night at all my friends praying with their boyfriends and I couldnt help but feel like I was missing out on a huge part of my relationship with the guy I was seeing. Deep inside, I knew from the beginning that God wasnt too pleased with my decision, because I was ultimately choosing this guy over God. I think if we wait, God will honor our obedience.
But I also know how hard it is when you feel strongly about someone. There are still moments I question if I made the right decision in breaking up with these guys... one in particular. But I know that I did the right thing. I do miss him, though, but I know that God knows what is best for me, and I will trust in that. It definately isnt easy, but yeah, like Andi said, it's much easier to not start anything than to have to end a relationship. It's not fair to him (her) or to yourself.
I guess it also depends, though. My mom started dating my dad before he was a Christian, but he converted soon afterwards. None of us can underestimate God's power. I guess you just need to pray hard about these things.
Ultimately, though, I think we all know deep inside what is right and wrong. I trust that if you're a Christian, the Holy Spirit will convict you when you head down a path that He doesnt want us to. I also trust that God wants each of us to be happy. God isnt out there trying to make us miserable or single forever. He will provide for all of us. Maybe He will use you to bring someone to Him, but maybe not. It's not always so black and white. But one thing is for sure. God will show you His plans for you, and you just need to obey. =)
That seems to be the trend among our moms eh? They're all Christian nurses, who married off to non-Christian men lol.
The Flirt to Convert thing was just a funny thing I heard Sam say once haha. I wasn't being completely serious about it... or was I?
Yeah nevermind, I was.
But, Alicia, as shocking as it may be, I don't think I am solid enough to maintain God over girl. I mean, even in my relationship with a Christian girl, I still ended up abandoning God!!
How's that for irony?
Thanks for all the input lol. Expect me to ask the same question in a couple of months. Maybe weeks.
PS. Thanks Jackson, it wasn't until the guitar analogy, that everything made sense to me LOL!! j/k j/k.
*sigh* This sucks.
ooooh.. i wonder what brought up this topic...hehe
anyway.. it looks like you got a good bunch of friends. since they all gave the advice i planned to give..
imo.. dating non-christian would be harder..
and dont forget to think of the children if no-conversion happens! what would you do on sundays??
REPENT!! REPENT!!! hahahahaha o man... i've had this thought many times... but anyways... crap there are girls at my church!!! GIRLS JONNY!!! at my CHURCH!!! we go to the same fellowship!!! JONNY!!! there are girls that are IN the same fellowship as i am!!! i am a part of a fellowship with GIRLS!!! FEMALES!!! hahahahaha o boy...
Haha, maybe :)
And I think Bung's gotta good point too. I probably am more in love w/ the notion of being in love, but you have to understand (and I don't think think it's the infatuation clouding my judgement, because I wasn't originally infatuated w/ her), but she's one of those, "I can't believe your not Christian" persons.
But I know, I know...
imho... yes... now.. would i marry a non-christian? that must be considered along side stuff like.. would my spouse agree with me taking my kids (if any) to church with me... would we disagree over whether or not certain things should be done (going out to bars or something)...
and if we date to marry... then the question becomes more... "would i date a non-christian whom i might marry?"
dude, i know of ppl who have lost a lot of their fire with God becuase of the whole dating a non-christian thing. even though, the person ended up converting in the end, u wouldn't be at the same level.....although many times the pillar is usually the guy so haha, u're likely to be needed to be the stronger one anyways :P
but even my friends who have converted their husbands or wives have told me they wouldn't pursue a nonchristian again if they could get a fresh start...if you can't share the deepest part of your soul with your lifemate, who can you share it with?
there's going to be pain in dating a non christian....the point is, are you going to cry because you couldn't end up with her or cry for the rest of your miserable marriage with her and find that you can't get out of this one becuase you've become one in God's eyes?
"You are not a demon, are you?"
here's my three cents...
- dating a prechristian, check
- dating to marry at this stage of life, X
- marrying someone of a different faith, X (also applies for other "direction setters: desire for children, vocational as in if one wants to do 3rd world country development and the other wants to design suburban shopping malls, etc.)
...and more "when not to date a nonchristian"s:
- if you're looking for a mate
- danger of falling in love with the person
- if you're lonely (ack, this means i'm not dating material... whoops, did i say that out loud?)
- if you're going on a solo spiritiual trip (eg. just you and God - no church, no community)
- if you're sexually impulsive (haha, somehow i don't see this as a problem)
credit: all ideas lifted from a chapter of a paradigm shifting book by henry cloud (co-author of the "boundaries" series) called "how to get a date worth keeping (be dating in six months or your money back)"
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