White Falcons, Booze, and Turkeys...
Yesterday!! I held a White Falcon! Wow! It was like, Wow! and I was like, Wow! and then I was like, Wow! Can I hold that? and then I held it, and I was like... Wow!Seriously, what a guitar! Despite being a post Fender Gretsch, it was still amazing to behold. Pure white finish, gold hardware, crazy sparkle orange bindings, gem tipped knobs, and a sound I only hear in my wet dreams...
Thanks Alicia for inviting me for dinner :) Everything was beyond sublime. And I was only joking with the pecan pie :P It was superb! The only flaw was that everything was so good, I stuffed myself too far. I kinda did want to try putting my finger in my mouth, Peter Griffon style. It's funny how we've all grown up since high school, that I have no prejudice against people I once had, like Liaura and Varity. That Kingston guy though... Why'd you invite him? haha, j/k
So... today as I was leaving church, my friend said to me: "You know Jon, you should say goodbye to her." And I said back "Why should I? She hasn't even said hello to me yet." Honestly, it doesn't hurt me anymore, and I frankly couldn't care less, but is this apathy of mine sinful? lol, everytime I write on this topic, I get a strange sense of deja vu.
1 Peter 1:22 states: Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.
Likewise, Paul says in Romans 12:9, Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
I suppose I do carry a lot of pride within me. The whole considering other's above myself, well... I mean, do I have to initiate the conversation every time? Why should I even bother?
Romans 12:20 If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
How bout we just skip the whole feeding part and go straight to the coals on head haha. Just kidding. Thoughts? Comments? I should've said something? I'm putting more thought into this than it's worth?
posted by Jonny at 8:35 p.m.
19 Comments:
Hey Jon!
I didnt know you blogged, but cool! =) I just spent far too long reading your posts, but it was great to hear how one of my oldest friends is doing! =) I love your stories. They're hilarious! And there is so much that I can relate to. Anyways, we'll have to catch up some time. My mom thinks of you lots too. Have fun teaching. Teaching definately rocks. =) And your students are lucky to have you! So Happy Thanksgiving, and take care, Jon!
Always, clarissa
How I found your blog... =)i just went blog hopping cuz I couldnt sleep last night. Followed friends' links and friends of friends' links. You know what they say... 6 degrees of separation, but when you're a Chinese Calgarian, it's more like 2 degrees. =)
As for talking to her, i totally hear you on not wanting to always be the first one to initiate conversation. But i guess deep inside, you and i both know what Jesus would have done. I still have a hard time with it though. And if it were up to me, I couldnt care less if I never talk to my ex or my ex best friend ever again, but that wont make my daddy above very proud. For now, though, it's easy for me to avoid them. It's probably harder for you to avoid your ex. When you do talk to her though, just know you're a bigger man than i am (and not just because I'm not a man) =)
meh, don't beat yourself over the past and make the most of your future.....so u missed an opportunity....why not create some new ones? write her an email...give her a call....just do anything but mope! :)
Thanks Clarissa :) Actually, it's not that hard to avoid her lol. But yeah, you bring up a good point; I think Jesus' would've done differently. And something else good old Wayne said was:
It's always easier to do what's wrong, than what's right.
I can't believe you would suggest such a thing King. Write her an email? Call her? lol. I don't think I'll do either, but, simply because I think she want's her space. Nevertheless, those were awesome suggestions... from you, of all people! lol!
PS, who said I was moping?
... you don't have to create opportunitites... just don't avoid opportunities, and be nice when they arise.
ever think your ex reads this? ....just a thought
i hope i win by default!
" ... you don't have to create opportunitites... just don't avoid opportunities, and be nice when they arise." (cited from anonymous)
I agree. If it feels too strange or just wrong to create new opportunities like writing her an email or calling her up, then at the VERY least, don't avoid opportunities that come up.
Whoa whoa, although a good point it may be, this brings me back to my first question. The chicken or the egg? I mean, am I avoiding her? or is she avoiding me?
I suppose we're avoiding each other, but that brings me again to another question I posed: Why should I? Why should I not avoid the opportunity if she is just going to do the same?
Because Jesus would have done differently? Perhaps... Perhaps, but I'm not totally convinced. I mean, in light of what I have contributed in the past, I, in my self-righteous nature, believe that I have done enough.
And I have offered my friendship to her. Is it my duty then, or obligation, to continue offering that to her? I'm starting to think not. Afterall, if she doesn't want my friendship, then why pester her by plundering myself upon her life at every "opportunity"?
So I guess, in order to justify my behaviour, my line of thought was, If she wants to talk to me, she can talk to me; and I'll be cool with that. But if she doesn't, then, *shrug* whatever.
Lastly, I'm sick of cryptic unsaid messages which in my mind, is a complete immature form of communication that should not be recodnized or encouraged.
Haha, maybe that's a bit harsh, but I stand by it.
Chak, I have considered the possibilities, and I do choose my serious topics carefully. Nevertheless, these are thoughts and reflections that I have, that everyone already knows about. And in truth, I would be comforted if she read this, and knew exactly what my cognitive processes were going through.
Thanks for all your input though guys :) Keep your thoughts coming. And if you think I'm being an arrogant bastard, let me know too :D
I don't think saying Hi or Bye is considered to be pressing your friendship upon her. It is common courtesy that you should, we all should, do for even those we dont know. And if you do know them, then going further to see how they are doing is common courtesy as well.
As for... are you avoiding her or if she's avoiding you. It shouldn't matter. Somebody has to break the vicious circle. I mean... the thought that she might be reading your blog has some merit. WHAT IF both of you have the same cognitive processes over this?? Then nothing would ever get solved. :P
i only make such "crazy suggestions" because i confront my problems head on baby! life's too short for this BS so if she's a problem then get it figured out rather than living in the awkwardness. sometimes the simplist solution isn't the easiest, but heck, get out of your comfort zone!
Jon, you're no arrogant bastard, and you know it.
It's not easy to talk to someone who doesnt want to talk to you, but the question then becomes: does she really not want to talk to you or do you just THINK that she doesnt want to talk to you? But yeah, it's really tiring to have to always be the one to suck it up and talk first, especially if you get attitude or get insulted after you put in the effort to talk.
I've been mulling things over the past few days and I figure, maybe we're not meant to necessarily be "super buddies" with our exes... I think you can be friendLY with someone, but it doesnt mean you have to be best friends and skip down a street singing songs. It would probably also mean if they're sick or hurt, you'd maybe write a card, or if they said hello, you wouldn't run away or anything. But I'm starting to think that maybe it's more feasible to be 'acquaintances' with exes rather than really good friends. I tried the friends thing and it doesnt really work too good cuz you either end up getting back together and breaking up again, or one person still has feelings and the other gets hurt etc. Or they start dating your best friend and lie about it... oh wait, that's just one person i know... sorry, didnt mean to sound bitter and sarcastic about it...;) But yeah... Obviously, it's not easy to deal with exes for anyone. =)You're definately not alone in anything. But I figure I will be where God wants me to be when I can hear their names and not shudder or feel hurt when I hear it, when I can genuinely hope that they are happy, when I can rejoice that God blesses them because they are His children, when I dont rejoice at their misfortunes thinking that they deserve it, when I can just let go of the past. I think I can do all these things without being best friends with them, but yeah... that's just my 2 cents worth about this.
Hey, you're doing good with dealing and trying to figure it out though. I think most people would have ran away and given up by now.
If you ever need a chat, let me know. =) I hear you on how hard this stuff can be. =) Time does heal many wounds, though.
yeah, i like what everyone said... it's true, though. Someone has to break the cycle or it just goes on and on. And the awkwardness is so emotionally draining. That's why I'm kinda liking the acquaintance thing. Just the simple hello goodbye politeness... Sometimes I guess we'll all have to suck it up and just be the bigger (wo)man, though. Like Jesus said, we should forgive even 77 times, and in the same way, maybe initiating conversation 77 times isnt so bad either. The payoff is pretty good if you think about it. Initiating talk vs awkward meetings that mess with your head...
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/090205/at-the-guitar-store.gif
I decided to put something guitar related up ... hehe :)
Anyway, to join in on the intense exchange of opinions ... I don't know about people having their 'space'. How much space does one need? I totally respect space, as long as I'm aware that the other person wants it. If they want to close in on the gap again, they should take initiative since they were the ones wanting to claim space on the first place. How about this: If she WAS to take initiative and come up and talk to you, how will you feel? Overjoyed? Upset? I hope the former ... I think everyone should just be more optimistic and shy away the self pity they bring to themselves.
I agree with Havok, life is too short and blessed to have a reason to be drowned in frowns!
It's all about getting over that block, that barrier ...
"I think everyone should just be more optimistic and shy away the self pity they bring to themselves"
While this is true (and Tobi, I definately agree with what you said), sometimes circumstances and situations are very very hard to deal with, and healing takes time. But I do agree that at some point, people need to stop moping and not let things ruin their lives. We werent meant to live depressed lives, that's for sure! =) But everyone needs a moment or a good cry sometimes. I guess all I'm saying is that life isnt always this utopic universe we sometimes wish we lived in. All you can do is try your best and be right with God in whatever you do. But it's hard. I know I risk sounding hypocritical on this one, but I'll be the first to admit I dont always make the right choices right away, but God always gets His way in the end-- whether we chose to take the easy way and obey first, or take the hard way and take detour before obeying.
Sorry, I know I've put in more than my 2 cents worth on this post, but yeah.... =) I'll shut up now. =)
On the contrary, I am very arrogant :D I'm also very self righteous, but only because I have a right to be. Which makes me arrogant.
haha. But yeah, sarcasm is always welcome here. Or... perhaps I should encourage you to forgive. But somehow, if I do that, I feel a bit like a hypocrite. Which suggests to me that I am becoming resentful again?
Nevertheless, I don't think this is a problem. Nor do I think it should be a problem. And I have already dealt with this shouldn't-be problem back in June. Therefore, if it is a problem, I don't think it would be my problem. With that in mind, I don't think I should be the one to solve this, not-my-problem, problem.
I think you hit it bang on with the space issue. If she did approach me, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'd be overjoyed; But I'd be happy about it.
Thanks for the discussion guys :) I truly value all your input on this. I think we've nearly exhausted the issue, but if you've got more points of thought, feel free to put it down.
was gonna avoid talking about the issue at hand, and talk about a different topic. but seeing that in the time it took me to read all the comments, there's a new post to comment on, so i'll comment on that one later...
about feelings (more specifically feeling bummed out, etc.), i'd like to make a reference to an ecclesiastical thought that was on an older post - that there's a time for everything (good, bad, ugly, beautiful, [even apathetic?!? - way to be confused while making the point, sim... :P])
and on a related note (both to the topic at hand and the paragraph above), i know i do this too often: i avoid mourning losses (or mourning in general - like for example when jesus was saying that "blessed are those who mourn," that it wasn't for people who had good reasons like a death in their family [in that case it's kinda like they're expected to be mourning...], but it was for stuff like, maybe for example, us seeing our depravity colliding with god's divinity - haha total david crowder band concert signoff ripoff there, and that was a total CD review ripoff there cuz i've never been to a DCB concert before and i wouldn't have known that "a collision" and that quote from the CD liner was from their concert signoff... so good at calling myself out on stuff... almost like johnMayer on DVD when his 'making a list and checking it twice' was 'timely' cuz it was a 'christmas reference in the middle of summer'... okay, okay, i'll stop now...)
for example, most everyone has grandiose ideas of how life will be when we're 18 or 25 or done school and working or watever. BUT hardly do those ideals come into being.
i remember as a kid thinking that i'd get married when i was 18, go to school to get a major and a minor (dunno if it's just cuz i grew up in an american school system so minors seemed like something *everyone* did, but now it seems like not many people are into minors here in canada, well make that specifically the people i know at the UofC), get a bachelors and masters at one school and then move to another school to get a doctorate, be done college in four years and get a job. but none of those things have come into being yet.
plus it seems like an inordinate amount of people are in their 30s, with a so-so job, etc., thinking 'what happened to those dreams'
so mourning those losses (and mourning other things) may be something that can be tapped into more fully... in conclusion (hey, gotta give props to the essay writing that's killing most of us...), i now commision you to compose a dirge so that when you play it (with that great electric guitar tone that comes with your playing), that all of us here will (what's it called, not an inside joke, but... an inside song?!?!) can unspokenly know as a group what's going on... :P
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