Letting go...

I'm a pretty sentimental person, and as such, it's terribly difficult for me to let go of certain things.

Only one week of practicum, and although a small part of me cannot wait to finally rest, the other wishes this week would last forever. But I know, no matter how hard I try, it'll pass by in a blink of an eye.

If I count my blessings however, the one that takes the cake is to know truly what my calling is. Not just knowing it, but to have lived it for the last three months. My greatest fear however is that I'll lose my sense of purpose, and sight of my goals once this week is over.

One thing that I love about this profession is that I receive fulfillment from it. Every week, I leave knowing that I have accomplished many minor victories in influencing kids to be more critically aware of themselves and their actions. And it challenges me to be more aware of my own thoughts and actions; to be less of a hypocrite, so that I can be a man of integrity for these kids to look up to.

And I fear, that once I leave, I'll no longer have that desire to be good.

So, one question that comes to mind is... Have I put my love for this career over God?

Needless to say, I will really miss the kids. And the kids tell me they'll miss me too haha, but I respond by saying that in a few years, they won't even remember that they had a student teacher for math in Gr. 7 or 8's.

I wonder if that is the source of my sadness? Nah, I'm not so egotistical that I demand my memory to be ingrained into others. And I am pretty satisfied knowing that the legacy of my ideals will be passed onto these kids, even if they don't accredit it to me. :D

But I am sad that I won't be a part of their lives anymore.

Nothing in life is static now is it? Ah, how bittersweet growth and graduation can be.

This post was written at a Flesch-Kincaid Grade level of 6.4